“Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’
This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it:
‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
— Matthew 22:37–40 NKJV

Being wholehearted is a big deal—especially when it’s required to fulfill the greatest commandment. In Jesus’ words, everything else hangs on this.

So when I was having my morning prayer and God brought a couple of names to mind—names that made me squirm a little—I realized I needed to extend forgiveness. Quickly.

God's Way Is Always Best

I’ve learned now that when God addresses something in me, it’s for my good. So I began to pray as I felt led, and I found myself saying something that caught me off guard:

“God, I refuse to take my heart back to fill it with hate.”

Unforgiveness actually stops me from giving Him my whole heart. I would have to take it back from Him in order to fill it with bitterness, anger, or hate.

That was a sobering thought.
I hadn’t realized that’s what I was doing by not forgiving.

Wholehearted Means Clean-Hearted

Jesus taught us to pray:

“Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”

That’s not just a nice line in a prayer—it’s the Lord keeping us wholehearted.
A heart fully given to Him is a heart that stays clean, and it grows healthy things.

“For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”
— Matthew 12:34–35 ESV

When I take my heart out of His presence, out of the light, then all kinds of dark things have a chance to grow. Unforgiveness becomes fertile ground for offense, resentment, and eventually hate.

But when I realized that forgiveness was more about staying wholehearted—about fulfilling the greatest commandment, not just letting people off the hook—it became a no-brainer.
Of course I want the Lord to have all of my heart. ❤️

Forgiveness Gets the Hook Out

Forgiveness pulls the enemy’s hook out of your heart before it drags you down a path you don’t want to walk.

And here's where I think it’s important to clarify something:

Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation.

Forgiveness means I no longer carry offense or hatred toward someone.
It means I’ve released the wrongs they’ve done to me.
It means when I hear their name, I don’t feel that inner stirring to gossip, slander, or lash out.
I may remember what they did—but I’m not trying to get even or "give them a piece of my mind." The debt is gone. There’s no ammo left.

Reconciliation, on the other hand, requires more.
It takes two people. It needs honesty, acknowledgment, change, and trust built over time.

You can forgive someone without reconciling with them.
Forgiveness requires one.
Reconciliation requires two.

Give God Your Whole Heart

Whether or not the other person ever apologizes or changes, you can still forgive—because forgiveness is about keeping your heart clean, free, and wholly God’s.

It’s about not offering God only the parts of your heart you're comfortable giving, while holding others back to stew in offense.

And I know this might sound strong, but here it is plainly:

You can’t love God and hate someone with the same heart.

“If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar;
for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen
cannot love God whom he has not seen.”
— 1 John 4:20–21 ESV

Unforgiveness is the seed of hate.
If that seed grows, your heart can no longer remain wholly His.

Good News: God Can Weed It Out

Here’s the good news:
Even if those seeds have been growing for a while, God is an incredible gardener.
He loves to pull out the weeds of bitterness and unforgiveness—all it takes is an honest prayer.

If you’re ready, pray this with me:

Father, forgive me as I forgive those who have sinned against me.
I want my heart to be all Yours.
I will not take it back to fill it with anything but You.
Create in me a clean heart, Lord.
Amen. 🙏